I’m in the process of trying to consolidate my writing to one location, and I came across something that I wrote a few years ago and had posted on my;now defunct; blog. I think the message is still very relevant, so I decided to re post it here. Oh yes, before you ask …I’m not entirely sure why I called it part 1, I never did do a part 2 ; however that may change. Enjoy.
EASIER SAID THAN DONE (part 1)
I have an application called reminders from God on the welcome page of my inbox, and today’s reminder was, “Put the old mistakes away. Take courage. I give you a fresh start today.” I’m a woman of faith, but I have to admit that forgetting the past is easier said than done, especially when someone we love (or thought we loved) hurts us. We hold on to that hurt like rotweillers.
Funny thing is though, the stuff we hold on to, is usually so inconsequential (it never affects the price of gas as far as I know). Especially as women; women can hold on to a hurt so long, it becomes our best friend. We let it affect our friendships, because we can’t just let it go; usually we don’t want to, like I said the hurt becomes our best friend; Stranger still is that the one of us who’s holding on to the hurt, never realizes that the one who did the hurting has moved on, and probably doesn’t realize that they hurt you (that’s what we get for expecting people to have mind reading abilities). But most of all we hurt ourselves, talking about “look at her over there acting like she doesn’t know what she did”… well
a) she probably doesn’t realize that she hurt you, unless she’s just malicious in which case good riddance.
b) you know full well that you are hurting and you miss her friendship, except you’re trying to hurt her like she did you, but because you ‘re not getting the satisfaction you expected to get, you’re even more upset.
My new plan of action is this … feel free to try it out at home and replace the you with me as appropriate. The next time a friend/sister/brother/spouse (insert whichever is appropriate) hurts you, instead of holding on to the hurt; it’s not good for you anyway; be a big little woman, put on your big girl panties and talk about it. Let the person know that they hurt you, and explain how their actions/words (insert whichever is appropriate) hurt you. Don’t expect them to automatically realize it. No, silent treatment and snide remarks do not translate into -you hurt me (for all they know, you probably have a bad case of PMS). Explaining how and why you felt hurt helps you get it off your chest, and when you LISTEN (yes… that’s how communication works) to the other person’s point of view, you will probably realize that they didn’t deliberately set out to hurt you ; unless of course they’re simply malicious in which case walk on baby. Finally … and this is the important part, FORGIVE AND LET IT GO, JUST LET IT GO. It may be hard, but you can do it.